Diary Entry 13💋

I make so many goals for myself but can never seem to stick to them, any advice?

Thankyou so much for your submission!! 

omg what a relatable feeling, I feel like everyone has felt exactly what you are describing more than a few times in our lives, so you are definitely not alone!! my first piece of advice, would be to treat yourself with a little bit of grace and be a judgement free zone for yourself, allow yourself the space to breathe and grow because changing bad habits and starting new ones are hard, so hard and they take a lot of trail and error!!! so you deserve so much recognition and love for just trying xx

something I find helpful when starting or planning new goals is really getting familiar and understanding my 'why?', the reason for this change. it needs to come from a place of love for yourself, a negative mind can not bloom positive changes. ask yourself why three times, for example, if your goal is to be more social, your why's could look a little like this:

1. because I haven't seen my friends in a while
2. i'm feeling lonely and a little isolated
3. because I value my friendships and I want deeper connections and relationships in my life

that final why 'I want deeper connections and relationships in my life' is your 'why,' your motivation, something you can hold on to when things feel alittle tough. tell yourself you deserve what you want and you love yourself enough to give it to yourself. 

start small with your goals, you don't want to overwhelm yourself, because new goals can feel so daunting. take it slow, you could set yourself a small goal each week like go to a cafe with a friend once this week or text a friend you may have fell out of contact with, because after you achieve this small goal, you can build on it to 2x a week etc and most importantly your confidence will grow.

another idea could be to make a master list of all the goals you want to achieve, it could be this year, this month, within your lifetime, whatever you prefer. really visualise your dream self or life, it might be helpful to also refer back to your why. also, although this task could give us hope and excitement for the future, it can very quickly become overwhelming just staring at a list of goals, so try breaking them up. first into years (if you've done life), then monthly, then weekly, then daily, so now you can visually see exactly how you can achieve your goals. 

for example if you want to have a junk/ writing journal filled by the end of the year, you could break it up into 7 pages of week, then to one page a day etc (depending on how big the journal is). the key is to make the changes that feel bitesize and realistic!!

some people also really benefit from a treat or star chart, so every time you see a friend, for example, you can buy yourself a nice drink or a sweet treat, whatever works for you!!

the important thing here is to not make it feel like a chore, so if in a couple weeks time if you haven't managed to journal everyday or see a friend that week, that is completely okay!! meet yourself with compassion and revaluate a different way or time-frame that fits you, it could be a face-time with a friend while making dinner or getting ready in the morning etc. your goals and how well you are achieving them shouldn't define you, they should make you feel proud, happy and fulfilled!! and remember you have so so much time to be who ever you want to be and to achieve whatever you want too and do not compare yourself to others, that's never any good!! xxx

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please note: this column offers general advice and personal opinions, not professional guidance. if you’re struggling, please please speak to a trusted adult or a qualified professional. look after yourself xxx