Diary Entry 3 💋

How do i talk to new people? I am not shy, but just really awkward. Help me out!

At 14, you are still finding out who you are and building your self-confidence, so please know you’re not alone! Being awkward doesn’t mean you’re automatically bad at socialising, it just means you’re human.

Here are some tips I have that will hopefully help:

1. Start small, you don’t have to launch into deep conversations right away. Casual and small interactions such as how was your day etc are great warms up and allows you time to adjust and relax into the conversation.

2. Ask open-end questions, as an introvert myself, I’ve discovered that some people really do love to talk about themselves and I find this a great way to keep conversations flowing. So instead of, for example, ‘did you like that movie?’ try ‘what did you think of that movie?’ ‘What were your favourite bits?’ Try to make it more open ended so the answer isn’t just a strict yes or no.

3. Embrace your awkwardness, if you fumble over your words etc it’s completely natural and okay, try not to beat your self up and just shake it off. Try not to freeze and overthink, I promise you no one is going to remember if you were awkward, they are probs thinking about themselves and how they came across. You could even just make it a joke, if you are comfortable with that, don’t do it to put yourself down!

4. Have a go-to topic, this really helped me when I would find myself in that awkward tension where no one is really speaking and the conversation has gone dead. It can be something as simple as the tv show you are currently watching or pop culture or a recent funny TikTok. If it’s something you enjoy, it takes the pressure off!

5. Practice in comfortable spaces, if you are in any clubs/hobbies etc, try speaking to someone new there. It also might be helpful to observe someone you’re close to in your life who you think has good social skills and observe their body language etc and see how you can adapt that to your communication style. Still stay your own person though!

6. Start building up your self-confidence more, I find the more I’m confident in myself the more confident I am when speaking. Really spend sometime learning about yourself and loving yourself, embrace and become comfortable and confident in yourself! Self love and acceptance is sooo important!!

It may take a while to find your people and that’s completely okay and normal. Instead of worrying about if people like you, focus on if you like them. Keep being your authentic self and I promise the right people will find you. And please remember to be kind and gentle to yourself! You’re human and this is a complete natural thing to feel. Continue to be yourself, and love and embrace yourself! I hope my advice has helped and if you ever need anything else, our emails are always open!xx

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