Diary Entry 7 💋

One of my close friends only talks about themselves. I try to be supportive, but I’m starting to feel invisible. How do I bring this up without starting drama?

Thankyou for your submission and trust! I know how tough this topic must be for you! First of all, you are totally not alone in this feeling, it's devastating to feel like your words don't matter, especially with someone you care about. However, the fact that you're willing to address this, shows you still value the friendship and hopefully my advice can help xx

I think picking the right moment to speak about this with your friend is important. Clear communication and a safe open space is essential, so don't bring it up mid-argument, or when you're distracted/not fully ready. Choose a calm time when you're both relaxed, maybe on a walk, having coffee together or just hanging out, you don't want it to come across as an ambush. 

It could be very helpful to already have a small script or idea of what you would like to say, just to make sure you are very clear about your main points and know how to communicate them effectively. Frame it around how you feel, so for example phrases like "I sometimes feel unheard when we're talking, I miss getting to share things too." Phrases like these are way less accusatory and more an opening for conversation as sometimes people don't even notice their own behaviour, so it invites them to reflect. Speaking to someone else first who you trust, like a partner, parent, another friend, a therapist or a sibling etc, or even journalling before talking to your friend could be a good idea. Sometimes just saying the words out loud helps you untangle how you’re feeling. It gives you space to sort through the frustration or sadness so your thoughts come out clearly, not jumbled or emotionally heavy in the moment. You want to feel grounded before you open up that conversation. 

You don't owe anyone or need to have confrontation, but a conversation is worth having for your piece of mind and your friendship. You deserve to feel seen, be honest, (still be kind of course!) and listen to their response. However, if they shut you down or continue to dismiss your words, you may want to decide if this friendship is healthy and still supports you emotionally, you are allowed to walk away from people who no longer serve or show up for you xx

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